‘Let’s Goof off’: Why Is It Important To Spend Unstructured Time Together With Children?

In our ‘full calendar’ world with work commitments, school schedules, chores, extracurricular activities, and the constant buzz of technology (that’s not to mention the pressure to deliver ‘the childhood of a lifetime’ for our kids!) it's easy for parents and children to find themselves caught up in a whirlwind of ‘activities’. In the midst of this chaos, it's easy to find ourselves 'doing lots’ with our kids but it might mean there’s not much space for ‘being with’ our kids.

Today when i write this, its half term, so my daughter and I got up late, had an easy breakfast and then I let her take the lead on what we did for the next couple of hours. We pretty much sat around colouring in and creating paper crafts, talking about what our favourite foods and animals were. She seemed to really enjoy that time and in all honesty, I think I did too. As someone who co-parents and so gets a ‘limited’ amount of time with their child each week. If I’d had my way, we’d have gone out to the cinema or maybe just walked around the shops, but to sit and ‘do nothing’ (that’s probably how the ‘adult me’ would describe what we actually did) would not have been high on my list. Yet, our conversation was a little more intimate than usual and the focus on what she was talking about was greater from me as my whole world was slowed right down and focussed in around her.

In this blog post, we'll explore the importance of ‘hanging out’ with our children and how focusing on making sure it happens can strengthen your family.

The Art of Unstructured Time

Unstructured time is, simply put, time spent together without a specific agenda. It's the freedom to explore, play, or just be with your kids without the constraints of a schedule. In a world where every minute seems to be accounted for, unstructured time can be a breath of fresh air. In our hyper-distracted culture, it's so hard to be present with kids and as smart tech gets smarter and quicker the pressure for us to use all the minutes we can for something efficient and productive is real. Ironically, we may end up structuring in lots of activities to do with our kids but then run the risk of spending less time ‘with’ them. The art of unstructured time will shift our focus to ‘be’ with our kids, rather than ‘do’ stuff with them.

Strengthening Family Bonds

Unstructured time provides an opportunity for parents and children to connect on a deeper level. These moments allow for authentic conversations, sharing of thoughts, or at least the building of trust for when the day comes they will need to talk. Whether you're playing a board game, going for a walk, or simply lounging around, these relaxed moments create spaces where children feel comfortable sharing their feelings and experiences.

Boosting Creativity

Unstructured time is the perfect breeding ground for creativity. When children have the freedom to explore their interests without any boundaries, they can tap into their imaginations and come up with unique ideas and solutions. Be it building a fort, drawing pictures, or making up stories, unstructured time nurtures a child's creativity … they won’t need as much practice at it as we will!

Reducing Stress

In our hectic lives, both children and parents experience stress. Unstructured time acts as a stress reliever for everyone involved. It offers an escape from the constant demands of a structured routine, allowing for relaxation, rejuvenation and most important of all laughter!

Tips for Incorporating Unstructured Time

Now that we understand the importance of unstructured time, here are some tips on how to incorporate it into your family life:

Schedule It: An ironic opening tip but … just as you would schedule other activities, allocate unstructured time in your family's weekly routine. This ensures that it doesn't get overlooked. Create that ‘Family Time’ calendar slot right now!

Put Away Screens: During unstructured time, put away electronic devices. Create a screen-free environment to eliminate distractions and promote real interaction. This goes for us too, phones on Do not disturb so we won’t be checking WhatsApp messages or emails about all the other activities we’ve got planned for the rest of the week. Tech is very helpful but it can also steal all of those ‘moments’ with our children.

Let The Kids Lead: Feeling Brave? Allow your kids to choose how to spend this time. It can be a hobby they enjoy or a simple outing to the park. Let them take the reins, and you'll be surprised by what they come up with. My daughter is always asking if we can ‘go for a walk around the neighbourhood’ which sounds so boring to me but she often makes it fun somehow.

Be Present: When you're in unstructured time with your child, be fully present. Clock our from work, set up boundaries with colleagues, no chores or other worries allowed. Focus on your kids and the moment you're sharing together. Go where there’s no signal if its that difficult for you to ‘unplug’.

Create Family Traditions: Establish special family traditions for unstructured time. Whether it's a weekly board game night, a monthly picnic, or a yearly outdoorsy trip, these traditions can create lasting memories.

Summary

Unstructured time is not a luxury; it's a necessity for both parents and children, now more than ever. It provides an opportunity for bonding, learning, and relaxation. In the whirlwind of life, it's important not to forget the beauty of just hanging out with your kids. So, make an effort to incorporate unstructured time into your family's routine, and watch as the benefits unfold, strengthening your family bond and creating cherished memories that will last a lifetime.

God Bless