Instilling Empathy and Kindness: Helping Kids to Help Others
In a world that often prioritizes personal success and achievements, it's essential for parents and caregivers to intentionally promote empathy and kindness in their kids. These foundational virtues are not only core to what Jesus was about but have the power to shape our young ones into compassionate individuals who make a greater positive impact on society and the world. In this post, we want to delve into the significance of empathy and kindness, along with practical strategies to help instil these values in kids' hearts.
One of the most notable things Jesus is known for saying is "love your neighbour as yourself". This mandate sums up perfectly the essence of what it means to have empathy and kindness. Empathy involves understanding and sharing the feelings of others, while kindness reflects a genuine desire to help, support, and uplift those around us. Both virtues align with a way of looking at the world that isn’t selfish or self-focussed but looking out beyond your own understanding and need to care for the marginalized, show compassion for the suffering, and treat others as we wish to be treated. If children can learn to think like this they can learn to change the world around them for the better by noticing needs so they can meet them. What can we, as parents, do to help them?
1. Be a Role Model
The best way children learn is by observing the behaviour of the adults around them. To teach empathy and kindness, we have to try and model these values in our own daily life. Demonstrate compassion by helping others in need, showing gratitude, and treating everyone with respect, regardless of differences. This doesn’t have to be in grand gestures, it can look like letting someone go ahead of us in the queue at the grocery store, asking someone how they are and really listening to their answer, we might even just smile at someone who looks a little sad. If we work on noticing those around us and trying to be empathetic our children will see the impact it has on the lives of others second hand and feel encouraged to join in.
2. Encourage Pro-active Communication and Active Listening
Create a safe space for your children to express their emotions and thoughts. Engage in meaningful conversations about feelings, experiences, and perspectives. By asking open questions, being interested in their perspective, and actively listening and validating their emotions, you give them a vocabulary of questions they can use to ask others about their feelings and emotions. We often feel like we don’t know what to say to people we meet who are dealing with difficult situations or trouble but we can often simply ask them questions about it and let them speak. If we can begin to do this with our children we can, by that process, give them the tools to do it for others.
3. Volunteer and Serve Together
Engaging in serving others or volunteering as a family can be a pretty powerful way to foster an attitude of empathy and kindness. Whether it's visiting a local charity, donating to a food bank, or helping out the neighbours, these experiences offer valuable lessons in putting others' needs before our own. This kind of activity will help in getting kids to notice others around them.
4. Read Stories of Empathy and Kindness
Books and stories have the ability to inspire and shape our perspective. Read some books together that highlight acts of empathy and kindness [Jesus has some great parables 😉 ]. As you read any story ask questions about how the characters might have felt when things happen, even if it feels obvious or silly these questions can often spark good chats and create opportunities otherwise missed. You might also be able to discuss how kids might apply any morals or lessons in their own lives, or how they would have done things differently.
5. Practice Forgiveness
Forgiveness is another thing Jesus is ‘all about’. We can teach our kids to forgive and seek forgiveness; we can begin to show them the power of extending grace to others to help them see the power this has to change people’s hearts and minds. This practice not only nurtures empathy but also cultivates a spirit of humility and understanding. You might do this by talking to children about what they think the consequences might be after they’ve upset you and then being more forgiving than they deserve, this is a good opportunity to talk about how good it makes them feel to be treated with grace. Or you might be able to find an example of someone who has tried to take revenge and talk about how this may not make them feel better in the long term. It also might involve not exploding at someone who cuts you up on the road but instead making an excuse for them out loud like “Woah, that was risky, they must really need the toilet!”
6. Encourage Problem-Solving
Help your children think critically about the challenges others face if they hear about something their friend is facing or if there's a news story that catches their attention. Encourage them to brainstorm solutions and, if it's realistic, to take proactive steps to help the situation. This will not only encourage them to have empathy but to act it out in compassion. It empowers them to be problem-solvers and cultivates a heart that seeks to alleviate suffering.
Instilling empathy and kindness in children is not an easy task, or something that you can get done in a weekend. Yet, if the reputation of Jesus is anything to go by, compassion and kindness is a way of life that will stand you in good stead in life. By doing our best as role models, reading to them about it, encouraging communication, listening and problem-solving, engaging in serving or volunteering, and demonstrating forgiveness, we play a pivotal role in shaping the next generation. We can help them to become more compassionate, empathetic, and kind-hearted individuals. As we try to walk this journey, “let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” [1 John 3:18].
God Bless